I'm going to go in reverse order and start with Frank Lampard. And in his defense, if I was a Premier League player that won what he did at Chelsea, I'd have thought I could do anything also. And as a privileged person, better than most, I'd not have wanted to go into League Two to learn my trade.
I'd also have used all of my connections to get the best players possible to win stuff. Actually, when I look at it now, it's a little like me playing a computer game but buying the fastest processor, fastest internet connection and all the credits I can in the game to essentially start me off in the best possible position. I'm buying the win. A little like what football is these days.
But, if after all that I still failed, I think I'd be too embarrassed to take the Chelsea job. Not Frank and why should he be. He's topped up his bank account by a few million quid, for doing something a lot of us could do with pretty much similar success.
And it's not the first time I've written it and it's not the last, but football is so broken.
This is another player I know very little about. I've also not taken the time to find the obligatory YouTube clip of him because he's just a number to me at the moment. He could be great before he comes here, but will he fit in. Will he adjust the necessary amount and will the players around him. Will his wife or husband settle and will he have the desire and passion to play or will we give him the time.
I'm also not sure why we brought him in. I mean, it suggests Ross Barkley isn't going to sign, or maybe we're just covering our bases. £15mn isn't much these days (the game is broken and I could do so much with £15mn) and it may also just be a tactic to say we have options. Maybe we get Barkley too and we make the position competitive.
And maybe he plays tonight, so maybe we get to see him in claret and blue.
Match facts from the BBC
- Burnley's only victory in the past nine competitive meetings was 1-0 away in the Premier League in May 2015.
- Aston Villa are looking to record consecutive top-flight wins away at Burnley for the first time since a run of four between 1895 and 1900.
- Villa have gone 33 top-flight visits to Turf Moor without a clean sheet since a goalless draw 101 years ago.
- Each of Burnley's past five Premier League matches ended 1-0 (W2, L3).
- Having beaten Liverpool last Thursday, the Clarets can win consecutive league games for the first time since June.
- No team has scored fewer home goals in the Premier League this season than Burnley, with five.
- Nonetheless, Sean Dyche's side have not conceded more than once in any of their past nine league fixtures.
- Chris Wood has scored in three of his four league starts against Aston Villa.
- Ashley Barnes is one short of 200 league appearances for Burnley.
- Villa have already equalled last season's final tally of nine Premier League victories.
- If they avoid defeat on Wednesday, Villa will reach 30 points after 18 top-flight matches for the first time since the 2009-10 season under Martin O'Neill.
- Dean Smith's side have gone three away league games without a win, losing the past two.
- Emiliano Martínez has kept nine Premier League clean sheets this season, second only to Manchester City's Ederson.
- Bertrand Traore has scored four goals in his past six Premier League appearances.