Lost and found: Martin O'Neill's letter to Father Christmas

Dear Santa

Sorry this letter is arriving a bit late but I have been very busy at school. (I’ve had to work really hard because some of the other kids have richer parents and they get whatever they want, but I try harder than anyone and I’m doing OK) I hope you’ll agree I’ve been a really good boy this year.

My presents last year have turned out great. The Milner Machine was a bit disappointing at first and the family weren’t sure what to make of it. It whizzed round all over the lounge floor (the batteries seemed to last for ever) but no one was quite sure what it was meant to be doing. But, how silly we all were! I’ve since found the instructions and it does all sorts of cool stuff. All my mates want one. However, the Heskey Action Figure is still causing some confusion. I’m not sure if it’s because it was 2nd hand; bits seem to keep falling off but hey, it still comes in useful when I’m fed up of playing with my Big John. Unfortunately, I’ve only just taken Danger Downing out of the box, but I think he’s going to be my favourite.

So, we’ve made sure our place is all organised ready for Christmas, especially we’ve had a big tidy out the back. Nothing too flashy you understand, but everything is just about right, with the odd fancy touches here and there. I guess it’s just nice to know that you have a solid, secure environment at this time of year (especially considering some of the troubles the kids next door are having).

So, what’s on my list? Well, my mates are all telling me to aim high this year. They’re urging me to go for the Robinho Mega Mix or the Messi Super Set. But the thing is I’ve got enough stuff to be playing with at the moment. Also, the trouble with those big presents is, you never know where to put them and because they’re so expensive, if you don’t play with them everyone gets cross. The other thing is, when my mate got his Robinho Mega Mix last year, it just caused loads of arguments and everyone ended up going home early in a big mood.

So all I would like this year is two small gifts: a Storm the Emirates and a Bin Dipper Double. It’s not much I know, but it would make me the happiest kid on our street. One last thing, if you get a minute, could one of your elves take a look at the Heskey Action Figure and see if all the bits are there or maybe give me some tips on how to use it properly. Thanks Santa.

Love Martin