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Aston Villa v Manchester United live: Updates, team news and joke of the day

In a little under two hours the match kicks off and if you wanted a bet on this match you'd get 5/1 on Villa at the moment. 5/1 and we are playing at home suggests the bookmakers don't have much confidence in us and statistically speaking, they are not wrong.

You see, we have 'found it hardest to win points against Manchester United during the Premier League era. In our previous 36 meetings since the summer of 1992, we have won a mere 18 points, from three wins, nine draws and 24 defeats, for an average of half a point per game'.

Now, you are probably thinking I've done my homework for once with that little nugget, but you'd be wrong. It is Saturday and I'm a lazy bastard at the best of times, so I took that from the fantastic website that is Sporting Intelligence, who have quite a few more facts about us here if you were interested - specifically focused on how many points we have got against other Premier League clubs.

Now, you know I like statistics and I'm a big fan of looking at what has happened in the past to maybe get a glimpse of what might happen in the future, but sometimes you need to take those numbers and ignore them. You see, they are the past and we have some kids playing today that really are our future.

A spade is a spade

I really don't like calling them kids, because when they walk out onto that pitch, they become men, but when they get home, turn on the XBOX and shout down to Mum to find out what's for dinner, they become kids again.

Okay, they might not like me calling them kids, but I'm 30 something years old and to me and only because they all came through the ranks, they are kids, for now anyway. But my point is, they can make a difference.

Yes, I'm putting maybe too much belief in them and I'm hoping for too much, but behaviour breeds behaviour and they need to believe it is possible also. If we go around not believing it is possible and talking like it is never going to happen, I assure you, it will not.

These kids are our future and we have more coming through and when we start to add in a bit of spice from overseas, this local produce, I'm telling you now, will come good and we'll have a winning team on our hands.

Manchester United at Villa Park

No, I'm not drunk but yes, I'm in positive mood and the result doesn't matter to me today. I'm desperate for a win and I'd be very happy with a draw but we have the only unbeaten team in the League coming to Villa Park today and where I live, that means it isn't going to be easy.

Another statistic for you though; they've only won once away from Old Trafford and they are not bringing a full strength team, so all things do not point to a drubbing. If you were a betting man, you'd have your money on a draw.

Aston Villa v Manchester United odds

Joke of the day

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241." "That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "144." "That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another gentleman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "16." Albert responds, "How are things at Anfield?"

Team news and updates

On that note, I'm off for now, but will be back with team news and regular updates on Twitter and here and if you were not able to get to the game today, for whatever reason, you know you can get the game here.

Update: Team

Friedel, Young, Dunne, Collins, Warnock, Albrighton, Bannan, Hogg, Downing, Webcam and Gabby. A bit harsh on The Fonz in my opinion but a start for Jonathan Hogg alongside Barry Bannan in the middle of the pitch. Nice.

On the bench: Guzan, Lichaj, The Fonz, Osbourne, Herd, Lowry and Johnson. Please not, not a place for Ciaran Clark anywhere - must be injured surely or hungover.